Construction of a Screenplay, Part 7 - Patience

An underrated aspect of screenwriting is patience. Patience not to rush the development of a good idea. Patience waiting for feedback and notes. Patience in trusting your collaborators. Patience in the next steps that will hopefully turn words on a page into moving images on a screen.

Patience has never been one of my strengths. I used to get angsty waiting - on reader notes, the results of funding submissions and the like. But I'm learning and getting better.

The Truth to Power screenplay has been receiving really good feedback. It's out there being read and all I can do is wait. Positive things are happening behind the scenes and I am immensely buoyed by the number of people who ask me how it's going.

I can't give definitive answers yet other than I'm excited about the possibilities being presented.

And I am calm and happy to wait. Largely because I believe the script is good, it will find a home, and it will get made.

Once a producer (or producers) has been locked in then my waiting will be over.

I've had time away from those words on a page so when the notes come for rewrites I'll be able to attack them with fresh eyes. Plus any other material to assist getting the project up whether that be funding submissions or crowd funding campaigns. Decisions to discuss when a producer joins Tim and I to shepherd this project to the next phase.

I have a feeling 2019 is going to be a big year. It will be challenging, no doubt, but I'm excited about where this will lead us...

#TruthtoPower #screenwriting

Construction of a Screenplay, Part 6 - The Pitch Document

“I think it’s very good and happy for you to continue to develop it.”

After 15 months and ten drafts, with that response from Andrew Wilkie, we were ready to begin the search for a producer. There were several variables at play here. The director Tim Dean had been through a bad experience on a film project and was understandably leery about a repeat. The script had been written with a micro-budget in mind, possibly to be raised through crowdfunding. That would influence the profile of the producers we would initially approach. The tale was a political one therefore not only did we want a person (or persons) we could work with, critically they should also be as passionate about the topic as Tim and I were.

The option of producing it ourselves was never seriously considered. Especially after watching a two part documentary about an Australian filmmaker who made a horror film in, let’s just say, less than ideal circumstances. That thing scared the hell out of me and we wanted no part of that stress.

Tim and I talked it over and the agreed first step was to write a pitch document we could send out to gauge interest. Now, I may be a little cynical but the Australian funding model with its director statements and writer’s notes (don’t get me started) amongst other requirements wasn’t conducive to what I had in mind. Yes, we used a logline, and a short synopsis but I wanted to clearly state why we wanted to make the film and how that fit into a tradition of great movies about people speaking truth to power whether in a political context (All The President’s Men) or corporate malfeasance (The Insider). This was also a uniquely Australian story with an international angle. Our trump card, of course, was that the subject of the film, Andrew Wilkie, was in our corner.

I sat down to write the first draft of the pitch document and it all came tumbling out. How Wilkie was an unlikely whistle-blower given his background; how the act of whistle-blowing has become increasingly high profile as governments seek to control information with greater rigour; how the West always does this – try and impose its will and values on other countries – and keeps making the same mistake; how democracy can only survive when courageous people speak out against the abuse of power and unregulated secrecy. Above all, what fascinates me is how a small number of citizens summon that courage to defy their government – the Wilkies, the Snowdens, the Mannings, and the Ellsbergs of the world.

As is our usual working process, Tim gave feedback and we kicked it around, trimming some elements but it essentially remained the same as that stream of consciousness draft. Tim had mocked up a cover page that I very much liked – the redacted look of the title with a picture of Wilkie at the top.

All that was left to do was to send it out to a select number of producers on the eastern seaboard that Tim knew or had been recommended and wait…

Always with the waiting!

Construction of a Screenplay, Part 5 - Script Development, Phase Two

After almost a year of developing the screenplay for Truth to Power we finally had a draft that Tim Dean (director) and I were happy to send to Andrew Wilkie. This was a major moment in the life of the project.

A quick refresher. Famously, Wilkie was the only western intelligence officer who resigned in protest before the 2003 Iraq War as he believed the governments of Australia, the US, and Britain were prosecuting the war on a lie. That lie being that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction and had ties to Al Qaeda. Subsequent events and several inquiries were to prove Wilkie correct.

He paid a steep price for this as most whistle-blowers do when they speak truth to power. Remarkably, however, he is now an independent member of the Australian Federal Parliament. The Truth to Power screenplay is an adaptation of his book Axis of Deceit.

What the book couldn’t tell me, nor the subsequent research, is what the then intelligence analyst’s emotional journey was during this time. All direct communication with Wilkie was conducted through Tim which commenced several years before my involvement. It was an arrangement I was happy to continue though there was talk of trying to organise either a visit to Canberra or a videoconference. Alas, Wilkie’s parliamentary duties made that highly unlikely. I filled in the gaps as best I could and trusted that we weren’t too far off base. There were elements in the script, however, that I wasn’t sure how he would react to. Overall though, I was happy with where we were at.

It was a 7th draft that was dispatched towards the end of October 2017. We wouldn’t get a response until early January 2018. Usually I am not a patient person when it comes to waiting for feedback but I largely put it out of my mind. Tim and I continued to work on the screenplay until Wilkie came back to us.

The results, communicated via Tim, were positive. Wilkie liked the script and the approach we had taken. But there were two areas he disagreed with. One was totally expected – I had used a claim made against Wilkie from his cadet days as the basis of a three beat arc that culminated in a moment of self-reflection during the climax of the script. Wilkie did not recall the alleged incident and therefore it had to go. He understood what we were trying to do by incorporating it though. And that was important to me.

The other issue was far more problematic. While he apparently did not object to the portrayal of the relationship with his then wife Simone, he was adamant he was not in contact with her during the timeframe of the script. Therefore, it too had to go. The emotional spine of that draft! This caused much consternation with Tim mulling the chances of getting Wilkie to change his mind. I suspect that was never a realistic proposition so we set about rewrites and the daunting prospect of reinventing the emotional through line of the screenplay.

My first stab at this was a serviceable scene set well before the events of the story proper… but it didn’t really fit the structure or tone of the screenplay. It was backstory for the purposes of trying to retain a character. It was never going to work. But it was necessary to get that out of our system and discover another way.

Wilkie had given Tim the clue – his concern about what the impact would be on his father if he chose to make a stand. Interestingly, the father had been in the treatment and early drafts. He dropped out as a character as we focussed on Simone. He was about to make a major comeback as these things go in the development of a script.

After three drafts of rewrites that took a couple of months from Wilkie’s initial feedback we sent him the tenth draft on 12 March 2018. His response exactly one month later – “I think it’s very good and happy for you to continue developing it.”

It was now time to start looking for a producer…

Construction of a Screenplay, Part 4 - Script Development, Phase One

By the middle of January 2017 we had a first draft of the Truth to Power screenplay. A good beginning six months into the process. What happens now? The answer is the first phase of an intensive period of rewrites before what would be the seventh draft was sent to Andrew Wilkie at the end of October.

The director Tim Dean and I would bat notes back and forth and have regular video conferencing sessions to discuss the state of the script. Tim is very good at giving notes (apart from the occasional ‘can we just make this better?’ which is always a fun note to get!) and they would become more specific the deeper we went into rewrites. These covered the whole gamut of elements from character, tone, structure, transitions, theme, dissection of scenes, and, eventually, decisions to kill some of my ‘babies’. Those being scenes that I would hang onto from draft to draft but ultimately didn’t fit for whatever reason. Vale a couple of favourites.

As the structure had been developed over the previous six months it was fairly robust which allowed me to try new things without too much ensuing chaos. We focussed on character work, notably for Wilkie, his wife Simone, and his colleague Kate; as well as getting the main structural beats as strong as possible – inciting incident, first act turning point, midpoint, and the ‘death point’-helping hand-turning point at the end of the second act. The opening sequence and climax were already locked in though they were tweaked as well.

The most difficult elements were getting the character of Kate Burton to a place we thought was accurate and servicing the story; and the beats at the end of the second act. This is the sequence I have easily rewritten more times than any other section of the script.

As Tim and I were on other sides of the country we used Wire which is a fully encrypted video application. Indeed, all our communications were encrypted – Signal for messaging, Proton Mail for sending drafts and notes. There was some sensitivity around the project given the subject matter and a history of interference with the real-life subjects in the past. I am breaking cover with these blog posts! Gulp.

The other strategy we employed was kicking material out to readers for feedback. This started with the Treatment and continues to this very day with drafts. My preferred option in receiving feedback from readers is in a face-to-face meeting. I find the interaction stimulates a wide-ranging discussion that allows me to question the reader; them to do the same with me; and basically explore the state of the script in greater detail. To that end I would offer to shout for food & drinks at a meeting place of the reader’s choice. I’m sure I can claim this as expenses against our ultra-low budget production… can’t I Tim? Damn.

A big thank you, therefore, to the following people I met with to discuss the Treatment and/or a Draft:

Scott McArdle, Phil Jeng Kane, Levon Polinelli, Nick Maclaine, Anna Bennetts, and Tyler Jacob Jones. Plus the people Tim sent the script to on his side of the country.

But there was one reader above all that we were keen to get feedback from. So after seven drafts Tim and I finally felt ready to send Andrew Wilkie the script. This was around the end of October 2017.

Then we waited… and waited… and waited some more…

Next in Part 5 – Script Development, Phase Two

Construction of a Screenplay, Part 3 - The First Draft

I won’t lie. I was a little nervous. The treatment for the film adaptation of Andrew Wilkie’s book Axis of Deceit had been sent to the man himself. How would he react? Would he hate it? Dismiss us as nobodies? Would the project sink before it even reached script stage? Injunctions and lawsuits at twelve paces? Okay, I’m a screenwriter so I’m prone to exaggeration for dramatic effect. But I was keen to glean Wilkie’s reaction. Were we in the ballpark? If not, how far off the mark was our approach?

Storm clouds gathered when a writer the director (Tim Dean) collaborates with offered his feedback. It was reasonably early in the morning Perth time. I was at work. Tim rang from Melbourne. The news was not good. That writer did not like the treatment. At all. Gulp.

Unexpectedly, a crisis of confidence loomed as Tim pitched a different way of tackling the material in response. I could feel my heart sinking through the floor into the basement, a fair feat from my fourth-floor seat. To me, this was a completely different story. One I wasn’t in the headspace to comprehend let alone consider.

All I heard was “disaster!”

A few hours later and the crisis was averted. Tim received a message via the publisher that Wilkie liked the treatment and wanted to make a deal. Only two days after it was sent to him.

Now my brain was ringing with relief and joy!

The validation was a real boost. Not only did Wilkie embrace the treatment but I considered it a huge plus that it took him only two days to read it and respond. I thought it might take weeks. After all he is a busy parliamentarian. It was early December 2016 so he was likely heading home to Tasmania for the Christmas break.

From that moment all thought of differing approaches to the adaptation vanished and has never been discussed since. It was an interesting experience though. If anything, it steeled me to the fact that not everybody was going to respond positively to what we were attempting. That other writer’s reaction wasn’t invalid – he simply had a different viewpoint and, as I discovered, a likely ambivalence to political stories.

With the festive season approaching I booked four weeks holidays from work (the non-creative office variety that pays the bills) with the express purpose of writing the first draft. Consulting my diary, I commenced typing on 28 December after the Christmas-Boxing Day food and cider coma. The draft was finished 17 days later on 14 January 2017. Two and a half weeks for a draft. Very fast for me. I also thought it was a decent first up effort, not a ‘vomit’ draft like some writers call their initial iteration.

I put this down to all the work honing the short form documents – the beat sheet and the treatment. Tim and I spent five months from that fateful MCG meeting breaking the story and the structure. I knew where I was going. I knew my third act climax and how I wanted to start. I knew the shape of key scenes and sequences. I had a fair idea how to do the transitions in and out of the imagined scenes that represented Wilkie’s thought process. I gained confidence and belief from Wilkie’s reaction to the treatment.

I also had images in my head of scenes right from the get-go as I mulled over the research, the book, and the proposed structure. This included the opening sequence which has remained constant throughout albeit with some tweaks; and a wordless scene around the midpoint that was visually striking if not more than a little disturbing (couldn’t shake that one out of the old grey matter). There were scenes that I relished writing such as the “what if” of Wilkie and John Howard alone in a room together before the Iraq war commenced.

Sure, there were some warts as you would expect. Scenes were overwritten. Secondary characters weren’t well-formed to where we needed them to be. The thematic strand was somewhat ham fisted in execution; and there were some overly ambitious flourishes for what was to be an ultra-low budget movie. Some scenes would eventually disappear. Characters would change in emphasis and significance.

But it was a good start.

And as any writer will tell you writing is all about rewriting. Without a foundation to build on you have nothing.

Then there’s this – for the first time there was a tangible blueprint for a movie. For me that was only six months into the process. For Tim it was after a few years of tackling the material. It was a significant step.

Next up in Part 4, digging in and developing the screenplay.

Construction of a Screenplay, Part 2 - Beat Sheet & Treatment

What do you do when you have an idea for a screenplay? Or in this instance, adapting a book? First off, there is no correct answer. Different writers will have different strategies. What I’ve learnt after endless rewrites of a third act of a script is that getting the structure in place before you go to draft stage is invaluable. There’s nothing worse than doing rewrites where you are chasing structure.

With the ‘Wilkie project’, as it was initially known, I also had to figure out how I was going to tackle the material. The original idea (pre my involvement) was a series of telephone conversations over one night in a hotel room. I understand there was even the thought that five different writers could contribute, in effect, a monologue for each of those calls. That left me cold as making a film based on a series of phone calls seemed pretty uncinematic. Ultra-low budget, sure. Dramatically interesting? I’m not so sure.

When I look back at my saved documents for the project, I found what was the pitch to my co-creative, the director Tim Dean, called ‘Wilkie Movie – Initial Thoughts’ dated 28 August 2016. This was a page and a half of how I would approach telling the story. I read that now, some two years on, and it lays out everything that has subsequently transpired. Basically, how to dramatise the decision-making process that was going on in Andrew Wilkie’s head as he locked himself away to make the most difficult decision of his life. This allowed us to foreshadow future events without recreating them and to introduce imaginary characters and/or imagined conversations with real people such as John Howard. The emotional through line is there as well as a thematic C story strand.

The only real person who isn’t mentioned would come later in a storytelling video conference with Tim. I’m being a little obtuse but there are some secrets best revealed on watching the completed film.

So the approach was agreed and I started working out how to structure it all. There’s a document called ‘Wilkie Structure’ dated 19 September 2016 and the first version of a Beat Sheet is dated a week later. Now, the Beat Sheet is an invaluable tool in the screenwriter’s arsenal. In effect it is a point by point description of the major story and character beats. It was even more important in this project as I was going to be moving from real to imagined scenes and back again. Getting the balance right and the correct transitions was going to be critical so as not to confuse the audience (and the writer when it came to draft stage!).

Reading this early draft now, so much has been retained in the screenplay even though things have moved around a little and some elements have been dropped then resurrected. The structure is largely identical in the broad phases of the storytelling. We did seven versions of the beat sheet, batting it back and forth, until we were both happy with it.

Then came the tricky part. The Treatment, written with an audience of one in mind – Andrew Wilkie himself. Not that we were asking permission per se, however, it is his story and I feel a responsibility about being truthful to that story and to him as a person. There were also some elements, no matter how much research you do, that aren’t in the book or public sphere. The Treatment itself is a prose version of the entire story. I was fleshing out the beat sheet to incorporate more detail in terms of both character and story elements.

I set to work once more; each draft going to Tim for his notes, being discussed at length, then revisions made. There’s a second draft dated 19 November 2016 with the final version, after seven drafts, stamped as complete on 5 December 2016. Four and a half months after we met at the MCG we had a Treatment we were happy to send to Wilkie via his publisher.

Tim emailed the treatment to the publisher and I tried to put it out of mind even though I was somewhat nervous about what the reaction might be. I was confident we’d done our research and were being truthful to the story but I had no idea how the man himself would respond.

We didn’t have to wait long…

Next in Part 3 – First Draft and Script Development

A Long Overdue Update or What the Hell Have you Been Up To, Richard?

Wow. I know. It's been a while. Work has been crazy busy. Adjudicating community theatre shows as well as reviewing other theatre productions has been full on. Life, as they say, has been getting in the way. Yet writing activity has been happening behind the scenes. Perhaps spasmodically, in fits and starts, and not as frequently as I would like (yes, Sam Seaborn, three things that all mean the same thing) but happening nonetheless.

The sixth draft of the feature script Turbulence, after an inordinate amount of time, was finally completed in mid July and sent to the director who has moved back over east. I suspect the impetus for finishing the damn script was mainly because I was flying to Melbourne to do my annual musical theatre mini-junket and feared being waterboarded if I turned up in his home state without it. We had a good catch up over dinner and the early feedback was generally very positive but with work still to be done. Notably on our third major character who has never quite gelled. More of that in a later post.

The first two episodes of the web series Boondock Alley have been completely rewritten after some interesting developments along the way and are scheduled to be shot at the end of this year. Again, I'll talk about how we arrived at this happy state after a somewhat tortuous process in a later update.

Then there's the feature project based on a true life event in 1919. There is now a third draft of a detailed beat sheet and the businessman/producer and I even had a very good meeting with a development manager at Screenwest. But progress appears to have stalled over the business side of things with the terms of an agreement to write a full treatment leading into a first draft script.

But one door slowly closes and another is possibly ajar... as they generally don't say. I have been approached by a previous collaborator about discussing ideas for a potential low budget science fiction feature. The screenwriting brain is already whirring about what this might be.

And then there was the recent epiphany. I have a spreadsheet detailing every project and its status from short film scripts to features to treatments to television ideas and incomplete episodes to, you name it. They're all my babies, even the stunted, deformed ones that were possibly hit by a brick at conception. But it's time to let the vast majority of them go and start working on new projects and ideas.

Other than Turbulence and Boondock Alley everything else now disappears into that metaphorical drawer maybe one day to be unlocked, most likely not.

Time to make room for new characters and worlds and stories...

Back from the Wilderness or Belated Update

I am here to announce that the Great Theatre Rebellion of 2014 has finally been put down… kind of. Yes, it’s true. I have seen a hell of a lot of theatre this year - over one hundred productions. I have also reviewed, well, ahem, over one hundred productions. While I enjoy this theatrical diversion I’ve hit the ‘rookie wall’ and can’t sustain the cracking pace. 

Plus I have to, you know, write.

So what’s been happening on that front, Richard?

Thank you for asking fictional & anonymous blog reader.

The sixth draft of the feature script Turbulence has been coming along… slowly. Too slowly but now the stage production obsession is in remission it’s something I’ll be returning to with a vengeance. In related news my director is moving back to Melbourne. I half suspect it’s in protest of my glacial writing ways but apparently it has more to do with the Carlton Football Club and the kind of Victorian lifestyle one doesn’t find in WA. Thank goodness for Skype.

The web series Boondock Alley now has a facebook page and even a website. Not bad for something ‘still in development’ which I believe is the euphemistic term for ‘ain’t nuthin’ been shot yet’. The search for a producer has been ongoing with lots of people “loving the concept”, asking for scripts then never being heard from again. This leads me to a few possible conclusions – the scripts are so fucking awful as to induce the sort of demise one might find in The Ring. You know, after reading the script, your mobile rings and a dodgy ADR track whispers, “seven days”. The prospective producer then loses all possible means of communication in some catastrophic meltdown thus rendering them helpless. Except to post pictures of cats and selfies on various social media platforms. It’s a curious phenomenon! Other conclusions have been self-censored for fear of causing offence.

However, there was a meeting Saturday past at some ungodly hour in the morning as insisted by a complete moron (namely me) where we tried something a little different. A face to face pitch then the physical handing of the Bible and Pilot script to two gentlemen who seemed switched on with strong credentials. One of my actor/producer colleagues received a call 7am Monday morning to say they loved it and were “in”. The way to avoid The Ring style curse is clearly not to email the script – there’s always a loophole in those horror stories! This could be a promising development with talk of a January shoot… let’s see how things progress.

On the very same day, a businessman I met at a producing course who subsequently pitched me a feature film idea on the rooftop of a boutique bar in the city as we celebrated the ending of said course… man, this is a loooooong sentence… *deep breath*… sent me a whole lot of material to read with a view to see if it could be turned into a script. This is after a weird conversation about ISIS, ebola and filmmaking. Only two of those things threaten to destroy the fabric of civilisation as we know it… though there are times it could be all three if someone makes me sit through movies like Godzilla again. 

Oh, hey! Did I mention? I did a producing course!!!! So frustrated with the inability to get short film scripts and the web series made I decided to pretty much splash out on an FTI course in sheer desperation. Six times three hour sessions conducted by Tenille Kennedy who I have known for a while and now have an even greater appreciation for her producing skills. I’m not sure it’s what I really want to do and Tenille has a wealth of experience and knowledge that would take me a long time to acquire. I want someone like her to produce my scripts not try and be her. But it certainly gave me some great insights from a different perspective and oh, hey, did I mention the networking/pitching over drinks thing?

That’s pretty much it other than to say it’s been a strangely film orientated few days with the other director I have developed projects with contacting me out of the blue today and we had a coffee and chat. Maybe it’s all a sign for me to pull my proverbial out and get on with the Turbulence draft… 

PS Australia Post - when someone sends you a certificate in the mail and the envelope says "Please don't bend" it actually means Please don't fucking turn it into an origami swan to get it into the letterbox!

But, didn’t you use to be a screenwriter?

I know what you’re thinking – “Richard, what’s with all the theatre reviews on your blog lately… didn’t you use to be a screenwriter?”

Richard enters stage left and peers out at the audience. Adopts an aggressive stance.

Richard: That’s absurd; of course I’m still a screenwriter.

Audience member: Prove it then!

Richard squints into the lights trying to identify the wag.

Richard: Reveal yourself, Sir/Madam/[insert correct gender salutation for a small child or possibly a verbose animal of some description].

The challenge is met with a slow handclap. Only a few people at first… then dozens of hands in unison. The sound builds in intensity until Richard is brought to his knees, hands clasped to his ears.

Richard: Alright, alright. I confess. I have been tempted by the sins of theatrical endeavour; swayed by the spontaneity of live performance; awed by the camaraderie and passion found in every independent troupe of players. Dazzled by –

Audience: Get off!

Richard is pelted with rotten fruit, robust vegetables, and random pieces of furniture. He beats a hasty retreat to –

FADE IN:

INT. CAFÉ – NIGHT

Richard sits in his favourite writing haunt and laments the fact that the inability to format blogger correctly for the difference between stage and screen directions dilutes the visual effect intended for this convoluted introduction… 

Yes! I AM still writing!!! Spasmodically. Imprecisely. Incrementally.

The fifth draft of Turbulence was delivered to the director a little while ago and I have read his summary of what needs to be addressed in the next draft. I should, at this very moment, be reading his detailed notes embedded in the pdf version of the script but, of course, I forgot to bring the flash drive with me (Richard pelts himself with rotten fruit). In short, the next pass will be a character one. Progress has indeed been made - the comments count has gone from 83 to 43… or maybe I just fixed all the typos. Anyone who was at the PAC Script Lab reading a year ago would certainly recognise the story but there have been a lot of changes, especially in the second half of the script. Now we dig further and keep evolving and improving our characters.

I also finished the fourth episode of Boondock Alley, the web series set in a doctors’ surgery for the Undead. It was the hardest episode to write to date… and the darkest but the actors have responded with unanimous praise. This is flattering but also makes me a little nervous as I know it requires work. I suspect I need a critical eye to push me like Tim (director) does with Turbulence. However, it looks like we’re positioning for a tilt at ScreenWest’s newly announced Elevate funding scheme. So there will be a renewed focus on all the elements though I’m more than happy with progress to date. Ah yes, the joys of funding applications - writer’s notes!

Working fulltime has largely cut me off from the creative zeitgeist as I no longer have time to laze about on weekdays talking scripts, films and the like. It was a great pleasure then to go to the premiere of SeventhContinent Productions’ short film Rat Tale last week. Not only was it a terrific film but I caught up with many filmmaking colleagues I had not seen in a long time.

Yes, I am going to a fair amount of theatre and have even become a Friend of the Academy (WAAPA). Sometimes this is for sheer stress relief as my corporate job has burst into glorious chaos the last month. But mostly it is to experience the wonderful talent we have in Perth. I enjoy writing reviews and I figure that’s no big ask given the quality of shows I regularly encounter at a usually inexpensive cost. This year I’ve set myself to write something about every production I attend. In the past I tended to only write reviews for the shows I enjoyed. It’s time to man up and cast a critical yet constructive (hopefully) eye over every production.

But rest assured I’m still tapping away at the keyboard working on my own creative endeavours!

The stage curtains open. Richard bows deeply to rapturous applause… spots a half-eaten apple near the footlights, mid bow. Reaches for it… begins to topple… the crowd laugh. The curtains close. Thud. 

Hanging Out With Actors, Part 2 - Boondock Alley

Leon's first read of the Pilot.

At the end of August I wrote about the start of a new project where three actors had commissioned me to create a web series. At that stage I only had a vague idea what I was going to write about and had committed to creating a series Bible to explore this further.

I don't know if that's usually done for a web series but it certainly is a staple in television. The Bible, in effect, is a road map for the entire show. In its current state for what is now known as Boondock Alley it is 13 pages long and about 5100 words. To give you an idea of what it contains, the headings are:

Premise
The World
Character Breakdowns
Themes
Series Rules
Series One Dramatic Arc
Episode Guides

I had said to the actors that if they wanted to do this properly they had to realise that developing scripts would take time. First step was fleshing out the premise and deciding exactly what this was. I knew the basics: the tagline quickly became Boondock Alley - A doctor's surgery for the Undead. But I had no idea what the series would be about and it was important for me to find the dramatic arc so I could structure it properly. I knew I wanted to satirise both the healthcare system and the prevalence of such creatures as vampires, zombies and werewolves in modern culture. But it was important to me to do this in a coherent storyline with interesting human characters as well as the more exotic ones.

The request was for 10 x 5-7 minute episodes. The actors gave me a minor scare when they toyed with the idea of cutting it to 6 episodes after I had plotted it out. Yes, this could have been done but it would have meant some serious truncating of both story and character arcs.

Let's back up a bit. The three actors in question are Leon Grey, Anita Barnes and Catriona Coe. They have been involved at all stages in story discussions and giving input on their characters as I began to put this together. Indeed it was Leon who came up with the title after it was initially called Dead Serious.

Given the premise it was important for me to give context to the world and the two teasers here and here are more or less direct lifts from The Bible.

Once I determined the dramatic arc (discovered whilst absently listening to a rendition of Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven before a play reading in Fremantle) I began to plot the episodes. Given it was an order of 10 I used the Game of Thrones model of plotting towards a climactic ninth episode with the tenth being the ramifications of that event and setting up a possible second series (hell, if I'm going to do it might as well accept it is an ongoing universe). In loose terms then, the episodes are:

The Pilot: where the premise is established and the characters introduced.
Episode 2: a satire of the medical procedural show, notably House.
Episodes 3-5: a point of view episode for each of the three leads.
Episodes 6-8: the dramatic arc kicks into gear properly (set ups earlier)
Episode 9: Hell fire and fury reign down on our heroes (or some such thing)
Episode 10: Consequences and cliffhanger for Season 2

IF I had to shorten it to 6, episodes 3-5 would go and I would have truncated 6-8.

Now, all this was done BEFORE a single word of script was written. The Bible had one revision after feedback from the actors then came time to write the Pilot. I had the opening scene in my head and quickly captured that. When I sat down to finish the pilot it was done in one sitting and "came out" quite easily. The second episode was trickier because I had to start introducing a little more exposition into how the world of the series works but poking fun at House was fun. The third episode was harder but again was done in one sitting. At present they're all decent first drafts and the feedback has been excellent from the actors but I know I'll have to rework them.

I'll stop writing episodes now because a) it's time to see how doable this is in terms of production; b) I know that I can write episodes easily enough because the "hard work" was done putting the Bible together; and c) given the detail in the Bible the actors, who are also de facto producers, can use other writers if they wish. Though I'd certainly want to write episodes 9 & 10.

Thankfully the actors have been smart enough to acknowledge it takes time to produce quality material. I appreciate their patience and enthusiasm equally. The current scripts will need rewrites as the director gets involved and production decisions are made but I'm certainly happy with where this currently sits from a writing perspective.

The next step is turning words into moving images and I look forward to seeing what 2014 will bring in that regard!

Over to you Leon, Neets and Cat! :-)

Let’s Write A Screenplay, Part 1 – The Idea

Apologies, Alas Smith & Jones

Greg: Mate, you see that flick on the weekend?

Tony: Which one?

Greg: The one I told you about.

Tony: The searing warts and all examination of the human condition?

Greg: No, the one with the sharks coming out of the tornado.

Tony: Yeah, that one.

Greg: Well?

Tony: I thought the cinematography was pretty good.

Greg: You didn’t see it, did you?

Tony: I have, in fact, not seen it.

Greg: We could do something like that.

Tony: Do we even have tornadoes in Australia?

Greg: I meant… you know what I mean.

Tony: Hardly ever.

Greg: We could write something along the same lines!

Tony: A film script?

Greg: Sure, how hard can it be?

Tony: You spelt your name wrong on your final year English exam.

Greg: It was the original European spelling.

Tony: I don’t even know what that means.

Greg: Fine. I’ll be the ideas man, you can write it down.

Tony: And this big idea would be?

Greg: Divanami!

Tony: Excuse me?

Greg: Get this, a thousand washed up actresses wash up in New York and start terrorising the locals by aggressively auditioning for Broadway roles that don’t exist.

Tony: I’m still on, “excuse me?”

Greg: It’ll be huge!

Tony: Well, sure, what with a thousand actresses and all.

Greg: Washed up actresses. Think Lindsay Lohan, think Tara Reid --

Tony: Who?

Greg: Exactly!

Tony: It doesn’t sound very Australian.

Greg: We can throw in a few Home and Away stars.

Tony: Last time I checked New York isn’t an outer suburb of Sydney.

Greg: The home of Broadway, my friend. Remember that girl from school?

Tony: The one who took out a restraining order on you?

Greg: No, the other one.

Tony: I think she ended up taking out one too.

Greg: No, the one who wanted to be a big star, singing and dancing on Broadway.

Tony: Did she ever move to New York?

Greg: No, she couldn’t sing or dance to save herself but that doesn’t matter.

Tony: Probably matters to the people who put on shows in New York.

Greg: The point is that was her dream, to be on stage in the Big Apple.

Tony: Okay.

Greg: Think how many other aspiring actresses have exactly the same fantasy?

Tony: I thought they were washed up?

Greg: You know what I… look, what do they call it when you play around with words?

Tony: Wordplay?

Greg: That’s it. Divanami, actresses, tsunami, washed up, get it?

Tony: Don’t you think that might be a little insensitive in light of recent events?

Greg: The Miley Cyrus thing?

Tony: I was thinking more the people drowning thing.

Greg: No, they’re all dumped in New York alive by some big wave.

Tony: Seems a little implausible, don’t you think?

Greg: They made a movie about sharks in a tornado. 

Tony: Point taken.

Greg: So what do you think?

Tony: Well, what’s the story?

Greg: What do you mean?

Tony: What happens next?

Greg: They start auditioning on the streets of New York.

Tony: Not really the same as sharks on the loose though, is it?

Greg: Have you ever been the victim of a really bad audition?

Tony: I’ve heard stories.

Greg: Terrifying.

Tony: Do you know anything about writing a screenplay?

Greg: Adaptation is one of my favourite movies.

Tony: We’re all set then.

Greg: What do you say?

Tony: New York here we come?

To be continued...

UZS-2017 (A Zombie Short Screenplay), Part 2

Back in October last year I wrote about the creation of a zombie short film script in response to the flak I was copping for voicing my ambivalenc-- okay, I hate the damn things.

Subsequently a director came on board and we had two or three meetings and a second draft was written based on his notes. To be honest though we were working at cross purposes with different intentions for the story. He wanted a more traditional "fan pleasing" zombie film whereas I, well, did I mention? I hate the damn things.

The last meeting we had I was in the middle of intensive rewrites for Turbulence with Script Lab looming. So in fairness to the director my head was in a different place and I was struggling to understand his comments on the second draft. I left that meeting suggesting he take a pass at the script. In hindsight a mistake and something I normally never do but I simply didn't have enough RAM in my head to process (or understand) what he wanted at that time. I suspect, however, all the extra brain cells in the world wouldn't have mattered as he was nudging it down a path I wasn't really interested in.

A new draft never materialised from the director (nor myself) so it sat in the back of my brain and in a folder on my computer.

Until, impulsively, I submitted it for a one day workshop via the Film and Television Institute. What the hell, right? It's sitting there and I actually like it a lot. It also attracted interest from that award winning director and another had enquired about it so I figured it must have had some sort of legs.

I wrote the application in about 45 minutes flat. I'd finished the pilot script for the web series and was in a writing mood. I let it come tumbling out. Didn't self-censor or edit. Kind of a devil-may-care attitude because what did I have to lose?

I started it this way...

Let me say this up front. I hate zombie films. I don’t understand why everyone under a certain age wants to make ‘em. I expressed this at a screening at the FTI last year to discover people over a certain age want to make them as well. One, a talented cinematographer, turned a picture of me into a zombie! I was mocked mercilessly. So I thought, damn it, I’ll write a damn zombie film.

Except, shhhhhhh, don’t tell anyone, it isn’t really. What interests me is exploring a character undergoing a transformation that they can’t control. I’ve also inverted the usual genre tropes – the zombie locks himself away from the humans; it is told from the zombie’s POV (even though Warm Bodies was subsequently released but that takes a more satirical/comedy approach); and it eschews fan expectations of overt blood and gore.

It is also a commentary about the alienating effect of technology and it is no coincidence that smart phone technology is chosen as the carrier of the infection.

... and continued in that style. Conversational, self-deprecating and free of any earnest submission style trimmings.

And it worked. The project was accepted so I have a full day workshop in Fremantle next month with Claire Dobbin. From the FTI website:

"Claire has run script workshops all over the world and has consulted/edited on Australian films including Candy, (Berlin 2006), Mallboy (Cannes 2000) Road to Nhill, (Best Film Thessaloniki Film Festival) Small Treasures (Baby Lion Venice) Rabbit Proof Fence (AFI Award winner) Japanese Story(Cannes 2003 and AFI Award winner), Blame (Toronto 2010) and Hermano (Venezuela’s entrant in the Academy awards 2010).

Oh, I should mention - I submitted the FIRST draft. The one written in two days after the initial premise struck. So going back to the basic idea and see what comes of being immersed in a creative environment with Claire and 11 other short filmmakers/writers for a day. It should be fun. 

ps did I mention? Zombies... hate the damn things! ;-)

Screenwriting and the Sounds of Silence

There I was sitting in a café having a late night meeting about two months ago - option agreement, lawyer’s advice, a little haggling, a lot of momentum, a sense of excitement. In principle agreement is reached between me, my director and the two producers we’re meeting with. Plans made, actions assigned, market to attend.

Word finally filters back that there’s interest in the project – potential sales agents on two continents. Fantastic! Further details to follow. “Full steam ahead”, I think to myself.

Since then the following has happened:

Well…

Um…

There was that… oh, no, that was for something else…

We had a great meeti—hmmmm, nup, that was for the other thing…

*thinking*

Oh, I know!!!

No, no, don’t tell me…

It’ll come to me…

That’s right!

There was a change of government in Australia!

Think of something really quiet then attach a silencer to it then put it in a padded chest in a soundproof room with extra sound dampeners and maybe some hi-tech gear not yet invented that enhances noiselessness and that would be the extent of what I’ve heard from my producers. Well, I think they are. I’m not sure anymore.

Yep, not even crickets. I’m talking NOTHING. Not a call, “how’s it going?” Not an email to finalise the option paperwork. Not a meeting to discuss the next draft.

Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip. Stuff all.

DEAD. FUCKING. SILENCE.

My director assures me this is standard practice.

This strikes me as beyond odd.

Momentum. Interest. Excitement… Silence.

An odd sequence.

So what’s a writer to do?

Well, it’s my fucking baby so in the absence of any direction or guidance I’ll raise the damn thing how I see fit.

I have been working spasmodically on the draft, more regularly recently. And you know what? I like it. It’s got promise. It makes me excited. I’m changing things. I’m omitting a ton of scenes and really making it tighter. I’m adding stuff that addresses character issues and story points from the reading and my subsequent discussions with the director. I like delving back into the script. I’m in a writing mood.

I have absolutely no idea what the situation is with the option, the supposed market interest or what the producers are doing. Right now, I couldn’t care less. I’m simply going to write. This version of the script only exists in my head and on my netbook. You want it you have to chase me. I’m done chasing people who can afford to invent hi-tech, anti-noise technology from the future.

Silence.

As a writer I hate fucking silence.

No, not the serene, peaceful, productive kind; the “why the fuck aren’t you talking to me, I thought we were a creative team on this together” kind.

I feel better now.

I’ll go work on the script some more... in silence…

The good kind.

Hanging out with Actors? I'm Dead Serious!

There I was having lunch with a fellow corporate zombie when he suddenly asks, “you are going to write about us in your blog, aren’t you?”  As we gazed into each other’s eyes over a laminated table and a plate of bad chicken chow mein we slowly dissolved into flashback…

Okay, melodramatic nonsense aside, I was approached some time ago by said corporate zombie, who also happens to be an actor, with a proposal. He and two actresses were looking to take greater control of their careers by generating their own content, specifically by making a web series.

All of them were “older” actors (as in not 18-21 and straight out of film school) with full-time jobs and they were willing to pay for good scripts. It seems they were tired of auditioning for the unpaid student film grind and being overlooked for younger actors or, egregiously, models that had a “certain look”. They intended to approach three writers in what amounted to a tender system. They would then pick the successful candidate.

My initial response was, “hmmmm, no, not so much”. Without sounding vain (okay, maybe a little vain), I wasn’t going to “bid” for a web series. Besides, now that I’m working again, time is of the utmost premium and I have a feature script to work on.

However, as I’ve known this actor a while and he’s a good guy (don’t let this go to your head, Leon!), I said I would meet with them, listen to their ideas, and if they wanted, I could write a one to two page proposal (for a fee). If they agreed to explore it further we would talk.

The meeting is set and it’s in the lobby of the Hyatt Hotel in the early evening after everyone has finished their work commitments. “Pretty upmarket”, I think, more used to cafes and pubs as the standard meeting environment.

I don’t know one of the actresses and the other one only by work she has done on another web series. I make an early faux pas by ordering alcohol only to watch everyone else order tea. Okay, not that sort of meeting then. But, damn it, I’m a writer!

Introductions are made, small talk conducted then it’s time to get down to business. What is it they want? Now, for actors, I found the initial discussion fascinating. They were talking about where the series would be set. Related to questions of budget and how they would finance the series and all these types of things. Then it hits me, they will also be the producers if it’s their money they’re putting up. Little warning bells go off as it means I would be writing for them while also, technically, working under them.

Anyway, I finally get around to asking, “yes, but what would the web series be about? What do you want to say?” This launches us into a discussion about things I’m on much more solid ground about – theme and story and character and tone.

Now, I can be pretty charming and engaging when I want to be and we’re all hitting it off in fine style. So much so that by the end of the meeting it appears I have been “hired” and the tender process scrapped. I have no real idea what this thing is yet but everybody seems positive.

The next meeting is on home turf – the big Dome in East Vic Park. I’m still not sure what the series is about as the ideas so far (based on the actors’ suggested locations) seem very dry. But then that magic all writers crave happens – someone says something in passing and my screenwriting brain jumps about 23 steps and suddenly I know what I want to write. I pitch this new idea – a subversion of what they originally proposed – and it is enthusiastically embraced. Now I get excited which is absolutely vital if I’m going to write this thing as possibilities open up all over the place. I have a sense of tone and place and possible storylines and characters.

The next meeting and a director is in attendance. Likes the idea, speaks very well, has interesting stories to tell. Another little warning bell goes off in my head as the actors are talking crew and equipment and marketing and all sorts of other things and I am yet to write a single scripted word. But passion and enthusiasm isn’t necessarily guaranteed by all parties working on a project so there’s that at least. What is far more relevant to me is how many episodes and of what length. The initial response is 10 episodes of 5-7 minutes each.

Later I am asked for an idea of my fee and we agree on a figure to write a “bible” for the series and then a per episode amount. I am mindful that this is their own money and I am appreciative that they want to conduct this as a professional transaction.

Plans are being made for a website and marketing tools and ancillary content, all manner of things. But that’s not my concern. My first task is to produce the bible by 1 October – character breakdowns, story arcs, episode guides, themes, the world of the series; basically everything I need to write the episodes.

I haven’t gone into specific details of the project as that is the actors’ province to announce when they are ready. There is a working title, a tag line, a whole lot of early notes, and a slowly coalescing idea in my head of what this is…

I’ll know a whole lot more in a month’s time!

Turbulence Update or We will, we will rock you!

A lot has happened in a very short period of time. Namely this:

Director: I hate the title. Why can’t you come up with a better title? We really need to change the title! Have you changed the title yet?

Me: I actually quite like it.

Director: It sucks. It’s terrible. I hate it. Have you SEEN the Ray Liotta film of the same name?

Me: We’re not remaking that film.

Director: It makes it sound like the whole thing is set on a plane.

Me: Well, it starts on a plane…

Director: Yes, yes, I know. But does it end on a plane? Well, does it?

Me: It’s a thematic title. Our main character’s world is rocked. Get it… rocked. Like in turbulence (does shimmy action to demonstrate the point).

Director: Did I mention… I. HATE. IT?!!!!!!

Me: Do you want me to get the feedback sheets from the reading and tell you what the audience thought?

Director: We need a new title!

Me: Sixty one percent liked it. If this were a Federal election every single seat would be won by the Opposition. It’s a landslide!!!

Director: Oh, so now it’s set on a mountain, is it?

Okay, in fairness to Tim the conversation didn’t quite go like that and yes, for the record, the Ray Liotta film sucks.

However, in the space of one week, we now have producers on board and they will be taking the project to market as part of the Melbourne International Film Festival next week. How did this all happen?

Dissolve to flashback:

There I was sitting in a music room at Leederville TAFE having been browbeaten by Tim to attend a ScreenWest industry briefing… on FAQs and website navigation.

Me (Voice-over): Why am I sitting in a music room listening to people talk about FAQs? What even is an FAQ? I should look that up. I wonder if there’s a website?

A revamped funding initiative – Feature Navigator – was fast approaching and we were looking for a producer. Determined not to drink free booze and eat free food paid by our taxpayer’s money, Tim insisted we flee instead to deepest, darkest Oxford Street to discuss projects and strategy. A list of prospective producers was made, most of whom were drinking free booze and eating free food while I munched on my decidedly not free Chicken and Cashews at Hans Café.

Yes, for the purposes of this post, Tim is the villain while I will be your hero and amiable narrator. I expect I will pay for this is no small measure later in proceedings. Insert smiley emoticon J to denote humour and general plea for clemency.

The very next day (a Thursday) I had coffee with a previous collaborator Chris Richards-Scully to touch base and sound him out about Feature Navigator. Chris and his producing partner, Michael Facey (who I’ve also worked with), formed Archangel Pictures back in 2009.

Chris immediately expressed an interest in Turbulence so the discussion was twofold: Tim and I teaming up with Archangel Pictures to submit feature film projects for the Feature Navigator (FN) round; and the possibility of Archangel producing Turbulence.

Chris sounded out Michael; I spoke to Tim, and a meeting was set for Saturday lunchtime. Something kept nagging me about this day but everything was set. Then I remembered… it was my birthday!

The meeting took place (hey, I’m a professional) but Chris was unfortunately unable to attend. We agreed to discuss projects for FN and to send Michael and Chris the reading draft of Turbulence. The script was sent out later that day, early afternoon-ish, and I went off to get spoilt by mum’s home cooking.

I get a call the next day, not more than 24 hours later, and Chris and Michael have both read the script, love it, and want to option it!

Options and agreements and lawyers notes ensue. The following Thursday evening the four of us meet, clarifications are sought and made, and we reach an in principle agreement that Archangel Pictures will produce Turbulence and pitch it at market in Melbourne. The final paperwork is to be signed but this is a promising step. We also agree on the three projects we will submit for the FN round.

Everything is in place… except for this:

Producer: So, about this title…?

Me: Arrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Turbulence - The Reading

I have been terribly remiss in not blogging about the reading of my feature script which was nearly a month ago now. 

It was a great success, better than I expected. Some random observations: 

 

Someone told me the Subiaco Arts Centre studio seats 110 and it was a full house which was very gratifying. I was delighted that many family, friends and colleagues were in attendance with even a delegation from work. This meant I was busy trying to say hello to everyone before the reading while also answering last minute questions from the cast about line reads and the like. The buzz was fantastic. 

I was surprised how relaxed I was. I expected that once I finished work I’d start getting nervous but the nerves never came. Not even when I was running later than I wanted with the peak hour traffic. 

The wine was fabulous. I’m sorry I only managed to have one glass. Too busy talking. I won’t make that mistake again. Well done new sponsor Happs! Your white wine was very nice. 

It’s the first time I’ve ever sat in the front row at a reading… next to Mum and Dad who I was really pleased to have there and who enjoyed themselves immensely. Yes, this is what I did with that outrageously expensive private school education you paid for. I’m sorry! 

 

Me with Dad in the background.

What a great cast we assembled!!! Thank you Matt Elverd, Kirsty Hillhouse, Gemma Sharpe, Clara Helms, Ben Mortley, Lee Sheppard and Vito de Francesco; with kudos to Vivienne Garrett for handling all the big print with such aplomb. 

While I’m thanking people – thank you Ric Curtin for recording the reading – it’s kind of a pleasantly weird sensation walking along the river listening to the words you’ve written come to life on your iPod; Cathy Prastides for the wonderful teaser poster; Michael McCall for hosting and not embarrassing me in front of all and sundry!; volunteers Tahlia and Becky for helping on the night; and lastly and especially Annie Murtagh-Monks for coordinating all the activities behind the scenes that make this happen. Sorry you didn’t get to experience the evening but I’m sure an authentic American road trip is adequate recompense! 

Fifty-nine feedback forms! I think the last reading I had it was more like 30-something. Lots of great feedback with only one brickbat (can’t please everyone I guess). The one amusing outcome – I’m not sure if they had run out of forms but there were some in the old format… for a comedy script read. So the question “What sections did you find funny?” was a little incongruous for a thriller but as is my normal style there was enough wit scattered throughout the script to garner some positive responses. 

The reaction afterwards was fantastic. People coming up to congratulate me, many who I did not know and assume were from the general public. Including a woman who told me her shy teenage son wanted to play the teenage character that was in one scene only (hope he survives the rewrite!). Plus extraordinarily kind words from colleagues mixed in with a blunt assessment from another. But that is what the evening is all about – finding out what is working and what needs work.

It’s fair to say I was on quite the high at the end of the night. Even as the stragglers (yes, I was one of them) were told off for being a tad too boisterous whilst the second half of Hamlet was being performed in the main theatre. T’was a fair double bill and all in all an excellent night J 

Director Tim Dean with Actress Gemma Sharpe

Since then the director and I have analysed the feedback forms, identified trends and areas to work on and have something like ten pages of our own notes for the next draft. Some exciting discoveries and planned changes including flipping a few elements on their ear which I love doing as a screenwriter. Instead of trying to make something work that simply isn’t gelling, you attack the problem from a completely fresh angle. The objective insight of a 100+ pair of eyeballs (yes, Vito, eyeballs!) is a powerful catalyst. 

Soon it will be time to knuckle down again and translate all the feedback and discussions into words on the page but for one evening at least it was all about celebrating the process in the public eye.  

Lastly, thank you to all those people who did attend. Thank you to everyone who took the time to fill out a feedback form and/or talk to me afterwards or text me or email me.

 

I really do appreciate it.

Please Fasten Your Seatbelts – Turbulence Ahead

The Preamble 

I’ve posted about PAC Script Lab before, a wonderful initiative run by Annie Murtagh-Monks and supported by ScreenWest with many other sponsors involved. 

Held at the Subiaco Arts Centre every couple of months, the reading of local feature screenplays provides a unique opportunity to road test a script in development.

This Wednesday evening my thriller script, with director Tim Dean, is being read.  

 

Turbulence:

 

An unprincipled lobbyist flies into Perth to close a multi-billion dollar deal. After a mix-up with a woman on the plane he ends up with the wrong briefcase. When he opens it he discovers a gun and a list of names with only one not crossed out. To complicate matters, his briefcase contains a folder that implicates him in fraud and corruption relating to the business deal. The lobbyist desperately wants the folder back but in return the woman demands that he find the last person on the list… and kill them.  

 

The Inciting Incident

There I was hidden away in my dark, damp, Goldman-esque pit doing all the things screenwriters do when they’re working on a script – checking my email; writing witty updates on facebook; researching obscure facts on the internet; re-cataloguing my DVD collect-- *ahem* - punching out page after page like a machine… when, well, damn it, it was time for a shot of actual and metaphorical Vitamin D!  

Yes, screenwriters need a little love too sometimes. What better way than to… 

…showcase a brand new script… 

     …to a room full of…  

 …complete strangers… 

…and ask for their feedback. 

                                                            What have I done?! 

*Gulp* 

 

The Special World

Fast forward to early February and I‘m sitting in my customary spot - the back row of the Subiaco Arts Centre studio. Annie is making the usual introductions; I’m sipping a wine, relaxed, and waiting to hear Reg Cribb’s latest screenplay, safe in the knowledge my reading isn’t until 27 March. Plenty of time to work on the scr-- 

“… and the next Script Lab will be Richard’s Hyde’s Turbulence on the 20^th of March.” 

My wine sputters all over the entire row of patrons in front of me and I possibly flap my arms in wild-eyed bewilderment as I want to scream: 

“That’s one whole less week to procrastinate!!!”  

There’s no turning back now though – the date has been announced; the project declared. Time to -- 

Get down to work 

One of the things I like about now working fulltime is the monthly paycheck. The part I don’t like so much is getting up at 6am and working fulltime… especially when you still keep writers’ hours at night. However; there’s a draft to punch out, the fear of impending public humiliation a powerful incentive.  

Some things to consider: this is a first draft; I no longer have the luxury of time what with that whole “going to work for a living” thing; I have an immovable deadline. That last fact is my saviour.   

As are these two - the structure is pretty solid as the director and I spent a lot of time getting the beat sheet right before I wrote a scripted word; and, praise be, I have a critical voice, my director! 

The writer-director relationship 

There’s probably an argument to be made that there are far too many writer-directors in this country but that’s a debate for another time. Other than to ask this, who is the critical voice that makes them strive to make the script better?  

In my case it is the director, Tim Dean, who was involved from the inception of the project and shares a story by credit. He gives very precise notes and won’t let me get away with being lazy or cheating or going off on tangents.   

For example, there is a scene early in the first act that he kept coming back at me over. It’s an important part of the setup but, for him, wasn’t quite working. Time was at a premium so I was giving him chunks of rewritten pages as I was working through the script. I was happy enough with the scene but he kept pulling me back to it. So I reworked it… and reworked it… and now it has a greater sense of urgency and is more revealing of character.  

Eventually two drafts were written in just over a month… PLUS a reading draft but we’ll get to that later. 

Time to Cast 

Tim and I go to Annie’s home one evening to discuss the casting of the reading. I have a few names in mind and, of course, Annie is, amongst other things, a casting director.  

She really likes the script and I get free script notes including a couple of logic holes that are subsequently addressed. Then it’s down to the fun part – who do we want to bring these characters to life.  

While it’s only a reading, every attempt is made to cast it as if we were filming. Preferred options are discussed and nominated; alternates also chosen if there are issues of availability.  

In short, I am very happy with the reading cast, most of whom I know in person or by reputation and are fabulously talented. It’s also important to note that they are volunteering their time not only for the reading but a rehearsal read as well. For that I am extremely appreciative and grateful. 

 

 

Cast from

Top Row: Vivienne Garrett, Matt Elverd, Kirsty Hillhouse, Gemma Sharpe. 

Bottom Row: Ben Mortley, Vito de Francesco, Clara Helms, Lee Sheppard.  

The Reading Draft

 

In many ways Script Lab is live theatre so there is a request to keep the Big Print (scene descriptions) to a minimum. I do another pass to take out what amounts to three pages of description, mainly to allow dialogue to flow without the Narrator having to intrude. This is a rhythm thing for this exercise only. Those descriptions would be important for filming but here might slow down the read. It makes the script look a little funny in places to my eyes but it's a specific document for a specific purpose.

 

Tell all your friends! 

PAC Script Lab is quite the slick operation now – social media; press releases; a radio interview that you can listen to here; promo poster and tag line; the finalising of the feedback form for the audience to fill out after the reading; volunteers on the night; a sound recording of the read; even a Q&A that you can read here - all masterfully coordinated by Annie.  

Thank you also to Cathy Prastides for designing the poster which has had a very positive response. 

Now all that’s left is to sit back, sip my wine and be open to all the feedback that is about to come my way. This is an important part of the development cycle for our story and my sincere hope is that all this scrutiny will enable Tim and I to make the script even better. 

I look forward to seeing you there. You can RSVP to pac@screenworkshop.com.au if you wish to attend. If you do, make sure to come up and say hello.  

Richard Hyde