The Balance - Epilogue

The other great challenge, as people who note my increasingly erratic behaviour in social media will attest, is the balance between writing and pfaffing around on the internet.

Okay, that makes light of the situation and I've spoken about it more seriously before. The tragedy for me on re-reading that post is that nothing much has changed in over two and a half years.

Like any addiction it needs to be managed and I haven't been doing that of late. If ever. Well, I'm tired of it now. Really, really tired of it.

So there's nothing for it but to cut all virtual ties as stark and as incomprehensible to some people as that might sound.

Tonight I have deactivated by Facebook profile (for those counting at home that's maybe for the fifth time - have a good chortle) and it is scheduled for permanent deletion 14 days from now.

More difficult for me is the fact that my Facebook screenwriting page will get lost in that process. I took that seriously and hope it gave people some insight into me as a writer whilst also being entertaining. But it's a necessary casualty.

You see, some people in the past have said, "just log on for an hour a day. You'll be fine." That's like telling an alcoholic to have only one glass of Scotch. Simply doesn't work that way.

So Facebook will be gone.

I deleted my Twitter account tonight as that was something that did change from 2010 - I got hooked. Over 8,000 tweets later it has to go. Goodbye #QandA, goodbye a range of interests from sports to politics to writing and films with an unnervingly large contingent of film critics on my feed. Will it be missed? I guess but it was always fairly whimsical and ephemeral to me.

Instagram, as someone noted tonight, has been on again off again the last couple of weeks. There is a reason but it's an entirely stupid one which only fuels the anger I feel at myself. It's gone.

My inexplicable flirtation with Tumblr is also over. Wish I'd never seen it. Won't ever use or visit it again.

Stage 32 survives only because there seemed no way to delete the damn thing and I'm too tired and cranky to bother.

LinkedIn also survives as I never figured out what the hell it was really for anyway.

What's left?

Email and this blog.

Email is still the preferred method of communication for most of my key collaborators. This blog is also part therapy, part entertainment and, I continually hope, of some benefit to other writers. That's it.

I guess I might still write the occasional amateur review on theatre.asn.au though the original impulse for that has long since disappeared and I'm probably not very good at it.

Otherwise, I need to write - real writing. Not pointless, witty banter on the internet.

Most people probably won't understand; many will roll their eyes; and maybe only a few might grasp what I'm talking about. Isn't that the way with any addiction though?

If you see me in any of the above places from now on - meaning my intent has wavered and I have relapsed - you have my permission, in fact I beg you, to hurl such vitriol as would make me scurry back to reality with my virtual tail between my legs. You'd be doing me a favour... but let's hope it doesn't come to that.

To those people I may never "speak to" again as a result of my self-imposed exile, I apologise. Though if our 'friendship' or interaction was based solely on words on a screen then what was it really about?

I'll still be kicking around in the real world. I manage to see quite a few shows and you're pretty much guaranteed to see me at the PAC Script Labs. But for now, from cyberspace, it's goodbye. I'm sure I won't be missed.
 

The Initial Impulse or Rediscovering the Passion

I recently submitted an older script for a funding round after pulling it out of the bottom drawer, doing a quick polish and attaching a new producer. The script - The Tangled Web - has some pedigree. It received an Australian Film Commission New Screenwriter's grant back in 2002, has been optioned twice prior to this now third producer and was well received at a PAC Script Lab reading back in 2007.

Yes, it has been around for a while - thirteen official drafts by my count and no doubt countless more revisions. At one stage, I am told, Sam Worthington was interested pre-Somersault days and an experienced producer was on board as a mentor for the then director-producer.

The story is about a married man who becomes addicted to the fantastical world of the internet and the glamorous people within it while failing to notice his real life world collapse around him.

As you can see in the whiteboard snapshot, the structure was deliberately designed as an upwards trajectory as the addiction takes hold (and things seem to be getting better) then, after the midpoint, a downwards slide into obsession with only the hint of redemption in the resolution. Requiem for a Dream was clearly an inspiration as this always was, at its heart, an addiction story.

Five years ago it might have made an interesting 'cautionary tale' on the social impact of the internet. Now there are many examples, particularly with films like Catfish, Talhotblond and yes, even The Social Network.

What strikes me though, on reading the current draft, is how far it has drifted from my initial impulse for the story. The more drafts, the more development, the less it seems to speak to what I was attempting to say and explore.

Most "internet movies" like Catfish and Talhotblond have as their central "conceit" the implicit understanding that the person you are 'talking to' online could be anyone. That virtual reality and real life is never the same. Witness the "hot girl" inevitably ending up as the tragic figure of the middle-aged woman... or a guy!

In The Tangled Web, in its early incarnation, it was always different. Our hero keeps getting drawn back to the internet (chat rooms in early drafts) because of a beautiful woman in her early thirties (written with Naomi Watts specifically in mind) who he later discovers is exactly the same in real life - superficially gorgeous on the outside. The 'twist' is that she is actually a bitter and angry divorcee who uses the internet as a crutch for her own need for attention and self-worth ie ugly on the inside.

Yes, it will come as no great surprise that this is based on a real life experience, exaggerated for dramatic effect (no, I've never been married nor fired for stalking etc!). About forming an instant connection in an unusual way, about revelling in that, about discovering that beauty is more than skin deep, that the internet is liberating in some ways and destructive in others. All things that fascinated me when I first started to write the script...

At the reading there was one scene that people (mostly) HATED. I mean, they were in my face about. The object of his desire - the perfect woman from the internet, the one he has opened his heart to - is anything but 'perfect' when he goes to her house, uninvited, unwanted in real life. She pours her scorn, her anger, her bitterness onto him... and he lashes out and hits her. I knew it would be controversial but I thought it was the ideal low point and, more importantly, in keeping with both their characters. At least it got a reaction!

Now? The script does not have a 30 something Naomi Watts internet alter-ego. It is an American Beauty like 19 year old. The above scene? Gone. The subsequent drafts went to the more obvious, the more, in a strange way, acceptable? Perhaps that is why my passion for it has waned. I am pretty sure if I read the early drafts there would be a) terrible writing, sure but b) a rawness and honesty there that is now missing.

It's that initial impulse, that spark, no matter what it is or where it comes from that keeps you going. It is also, in many ways, your compass. I think I lost mine with this one a little... okay, maybe a lot. It's a nice reminder for other projects... and this one if I ever decide to go back and "fix it".

Hold onto that spark, that impulse, that thing that made you passionate about wanting to tell the story... and protect it at all costs. Otherwise you'll drift away from it, draft after draft until, in the end, you have a script with no blood. No heart. No chance...

Update aka The Long and the Short of It, Part 2

Part One of the update was the short of it so Part Two is indeed the long. In this instalment I was contemplating discussion of my features via interpretative dance but the blog format seems far too restrictive! You'll just have to use your imagination...

ScreenWest knocked back my conspiracy thriller The Pilbara Imperative for a third time. TPI is a story about illegal uranium mining, radical environmental groups, secret deals between big business and the government, the involvement of foreign powers and a secret hidden in the Pilbara that is worth killing for. Think Edge of Darkness meets Syriana with a dash of State of Play thrown in for good measure.

Far from being defeated, I have written a three pager for the director's manager to shop around with a 27 page treatment also available. If there are any nibbles I'll write the next draft of the script which is a reworking of an older idea (In Total Unity) that was set on the docks involving a militant union. I also put a submission in for the Kit Denton Disfellowship but I'm not holding my breath over that.

I reactivated an older script The Tangled Web which has previously been optioned twice and was close to getting somewhere when Sam Worthington was nominally attached way back when (also known as before he did Avatar and became huge). I've given it a new coat of paint and sent it to a couple of producers to see if there's any current interest. This is my internet addiction tale where cyberspace is represented visually as a parallel hyper-reality. No typing away on keyboards for this baby.

The creative team for my supernatural thriller The Red Bride met on Sunday and one of the producers is going to MIFF 37 South Market in Melbourne this week. A new log line and synopsis were requested and duly delivered. We also discussed the direction of the next draft, interestingly by looking at an older version of the story. I've had three sessions with Michael Hauge which have been very useful but now it's time to knuckle down and churn out a new draft. We're real close but the last 5-10% seems to be the hardest.

I recently lamented the amount of time I've been spending writing synopses and treatments and log lines and beat sheets and supporting notes and so on and so forth [insert silent scream here]. Enough with Word documents! Back to the warm embrace of Final Draft I say. You would have even noticed an infiltration of blog posts in pseudo script format like Part One. A tell-tale sign.

Further to that though, I started writing a low budget horror free-form without outlines and beat sheets and the like. Dangerous? Perhaps. But I wrote 16 scripted pages in two days and it felt really comfortable. Want to knock out a draft quickly and see what I have. This is the cut down version (boy, is that an understatement) of a story the local Development Manager at ScreenWest says is a $100-120 million studio film. I'm learning!

Then there's the idea that came out of the last Simon van der Borgh workshop that I need to flesh out. As well as another idea I've been brainstorming with the TPI director - again, low budget, contained, and a thriller.

So there's plenty of ideas buzzing between the ears - now all I have to do is write them down...

What are you working on? How's it going? How much outlining do you undertake before writing the first draft of a script? How do you tackle rewrites?

The prosecution rests :-)

The Fine Art of Procrastination

I have never considered myself a disciplined writer. When I'm on, I "fly", when I'm not, I procrastinate. Technology has been a significant enabler to my exquisitely honed skills in this regard.

I discovered the internet when I was still in Sydney circa 1997-98 and soon thereafter the joy of chat rooms. The feature script The Tangled Web was born from many personal experiences, suitably exaggerated for dramatic effect. Just when I thought I had escaped the tedium of chat, along comes MySpace followed a little while later by the ultimate procrastination device, Facebook. Thankfully, I regard Twitter as the first sign of the Apocalypse and have resisted its facile brevity.

But there's just no getting around it - I have an addiction. And like any addiction it, at times, cripples my productivity and creativity. I suspect it is because all of the above are writers' mediums. Online, the power of language and the written word allows me to be an extrovert whereas in real life I am anything but.

I have struggled with this over the years much to my friends' amusement and my dismay. Internet addiction is a growing phenomena but not as well understood as more traditional forms. Tonight I deactivated my Facebook account (not the first time, perhaps for the last) as I've not been focussing on my writing projects while I'm on holidays. And that makes me angry and stressed.

Part of me laments all the talented and interesting friends I've "abandoned" but that's mostly the addiction speaking. I need to do this for me to get back on track with the things I am most passionate about - namely my writing.

Someone suggested I only log in for an hour a day as a "treat". That reminded me of the great scene from The West Wing below where Leo McGarry explains what it means to be an alcoholic. John Spencer won an Emmy, in large part for his performance in this episode. I know exactly what Leo means ...