Star Wars: Episode VII - Reawakening of the Fanboy

Okay, I admit it. I'm excited! This week's announcement that Disney has paid $4.05 Billion for Lucasfilm and will be making a new Star Wars trilogy was like waking up as a kid on Christmas morning and finding the best present ever under the tree!

I've blogged before about my two most vivid movie memories when I was kid (Movie Moments Through The Generations) - the image of that Star Destroyer gliding across the screen in Star Wars is indelibly printed on my brain... as it is for many, many people. Back in the days when it was simply Star Wars, not Episode IV: A New Hope even though that was on the opening title scrawl. But we'll come to that later.

Another story from the original trilogy. It's 1983. I'm in Year 12 at Scotch. A friend has a copy of the eagerly anticipated third movie that hasn't opened in Australia yet. On VHS tape. From memory his parents had come back from overseas, maybe Singapore, I can't remember. What I do remember is this, a bunch of us went over to his house to watch Return of the Jedi... over and over and over again. We were poring through that thing like forensic scientists, particularly the speeder chase sequence on Endor trying to find gaps in the special effects. Stop, pause, slow speed, rewind, trying to go frame by frame. Laughable today but the bee's knees back then. I never saw ROTJ at the cinema because I must have seen it what felt like a dozen times that night.

There were so many good things in that film - I recall I was particularly taken by the crimson clad Stormtroopers guarding the Emperor and the epic lightsabre fight between Luke and Darth Vader before Vader redeems himself and kills said Emperor. Quite possibly Carrie Fisher's costume in the opening sequence as well. Okay, I was 17 and she was like the pinup girl for sci fi geeks everywhere. (Mine was actually Erin Gray who played Colonel Wilma Deering in Buck Rogers in the 25th Century). But there were also warning signs. Enough has already been written about the Ewoks but, really? Plus a second Death Star? I guess the first one was still under warranty.

Back then it was always understood that there would be 9 films. So the ending of Jedi kind of confused me and seemed to bring a premature conclusion to the story arc. Then crickets... for years. I never did get into the Expanded Universe though I'm sure I have a couple of novelisations somewhere and did have a Star Wars computer game at one stage that I quite liked.

Then came word there would be a new Star Wars movie. Boy, was I excited! Boy, was I disappointed when it turned out to be Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Boy, did I HATE the retrospective naming of the first three films to include the episode number. Then came Attack of the Clones which makes The Phantom Menace look like Citizen Kane. The dialogue in that film, including my favourite worst line of all time - "Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo" - and the whole "sand is coarse" tepid romance nonsense that felt like it was written by a 14 year old boy who'd just seen Erin Gray in a body-hugging silver jumpsuit for the first time... sorry, I might have gone off track there a little. What was I sayi-- ah, yes. It SUCKED! As in blood is gushing from my ears, please stop talking now. Plus Yoda doing things no formerly-charming-puppet-but-now-CGI-concoction should ever be asked to do. His fight sequence with the ridiculously named Count Dooku (sounded like a Sesame Street character) is equally ridiculous. The third of the prequels, despite being touted as the "good one", I barely remember. Except for the absurd "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" as Darth Vader is born from the remnants of Hayden Chistensen's acting career.

Then came the tinkering. Of the original three movies! I watched the special edition of Star Wars last night and was struck by how annoying the alterations are, most infamously Greedo shooting first in the catina scene. And, of course, inserting the ghost of Hayden Christensen's acting career into the end of Return of the Jedi. It is with much annoyance and sadness that I realise that I'll never be able to watch the Star Wars I saw as an 11 year old back in 1977, ever. There was a certain charm to its sparseness in places, its flaws, its defects. Stop taking that away, George! It also struck me how much Harrison Ford as Han Solo makes that movie and the original trilogy. Lucas totally forgot that when he made the prequels - the humour and charm was replaced by a dour earnestness that is crippling.

We come to the Disney announcement and the reawakening of the fanboy in me yet again. Why? The movie I have not mentioned yet and the one generally regarded as the best of the franchise - The Empire Strikes Back (stick your Star Wars, Episode V nonsense where the sun don't shine). NOT written by George Lucas. NOT directed by George Lucas. (Okay, neither was Jedi but damn, those ewoks were undoubtedly his creation!).

Lucas gets slagged off a lot these days but let me offer some praise before the brickbats. His genius was in creating a remarkable universe in a galaxy far, far away. Also for tying up the sequel and merchandising rights. More power to him. It is such a rich world with almost infinite story possibilities. So credit George with the vision.

What he's not so good at? Well, unfortunately, writing and directing. This despite being Oscar nominated in both categories for Star Wars (and American Graffiti). There is enough hokey dialogue in Star Wars to "stop a team of oxen its tracks" (misappropriated by my favourite writer) and the first act shouldn't really work as it sets up a droid - yes, R2D2 - as the protagonist for much of its length. Harrison Ford famously said, "George, you can write this shit, but you sure as hell can't say it."

The prequels reinforced everything bad about his deficiencies in these areas. The advent of the technology that supposedly allowed him to create his true vision also led to soulless, charmless, green-screened, woodenly acted, CGI cartoons. The scripts feel like first drafts and are simply awful. They include what I consider to be the worst screenwriting mistake IN HISTORY. Yes, way to destroy one of the great modern myths by introducing the concept of midi-chlorians. You too can work out if you're a Jedi by going to your local GP, asking for a blood test and, if you're lucky, most medical centres in the galaxy bulk bill these days so you won't even have to pay. I still shake my head at this. Inexplicable.

So, having George removed from writing and directing duties for the next trilogy is a HUGE plus. Lawrence Kasdan, who was on one of the great hot streaks at the time, co-wrote The Empire Strikes Back (with Leigh Brackett). He also wrote Raiders of the Lost Ark, Body Heat, Return of the Jedi and The Big Chill from 1980-83. Experienced directors Irvin Kershner and Richard Marquand were brought in to director TESB and ROTJ respectively. Certainly not big names but competent.

Imagine what a new Star Wars trilogy might look like with the pairing of an A-list writer with an A-list director. Make no mistake, if Disney hasn't already tied up deals, those roles will be the hottest ticket items possibly in Hollywood history. Look at what J.J. Abrams and writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman did in rebooting the tired Star Trek franchise (while ironically using heaps of iconic Star Wars allusions!). Though Orci & Kurtzman have recused themselves in my mind with the awfully misguided genre mashup that was Cowboys and Aliens. Hell, Sorkin's agent is probably on the phone pitching a courtroom-style drama about the Trade Federation negotiations as a Greek style tragedy of greed and betrayal. Okay, no-one wants to see that. No, really, not even if Sorkin did write it.

What will the story be? Will it be faithful to Star Wars canon as established in the Expanded Universe? Will it pick up immediately from the end of Return of the Jedi? What source material will it use? Which characters?

I. DON'T. CARE.

There's going to be a new Star Wars movie in 2015 and I'm as excited as all get out about that and, sorry George, I'm glad you're not directly involved.

May the Force be with us all!

Movie Moments Through the Generations

I recently put up a poll on my Facebook screenwriting page asking people to nominate their favourite movie franchise of all time. This prompted some discussion as did conversations with actors substantially younger than me. They, of course, knew all the iconic films that such a poll will inevitably throw up… but I recounted how I was THERE at the original cinema release of some of these classics.

The two that stick most vividly in my mind are Star Wars and Alien. The former I was taken to by my Dad as I would have been about 11 years old at the time. I know it’s a cliché now because a lot of people from my generation mention it, but that shot of the Star Destroyer gliding across the screen changed movies forever. I had never seen anything even remotely like it – it kept going… and going… and going until finally you get to the engines. I can tell you, my eyes were as big as saucers. Then you get the Stormtroopers in their cool white uniforms THEN you get Darth Vader. All within a few minutes! Hooked. Besotted. Serious Swoonage. Dad, to this day, will tell you he hated it, but I know and he knows he loved it… just don’t tell Mum who has never seen a Star Wars film.

A couple of years later was Alien – the first film I was allowed to go see unaccompanied by an adult. On the proviso I first took my sister, who was two years younger than me, to see The Muppet Movie. Talk about a contrast! I had read the Alan Dean Foster novelisation so I knew exactly what was going to happen but that film scared the living bejesus out of me. What made it memorable was this - when the Alien bursts out of John Hurt’s chest a whole group of kids at the back ran screaming out of the cinema. AND someone threw up. The smell of vomit wafting through a darkened cinema added another layer to the claustrophobic nature of that film.

My parents talk just as fondly of the days when going to the movies was a huge social event – before the days of television. The Grove Plaza in Cottesloe used to house a cinema complex and Saturday matinees were all the rage. But they made a real effort having a theme in the foyer for the movies that played there. You hear how people, notably women, say they were afraid to take a shower after seeing Psycho. Well, when Mum and Dad saw the original theatrical release they said the ushers had green filters over their torches as they showed you to your seats which gave an eerie glow to set the mood. When the movie finished they kept the house lights off… and off… and off… until people started to scream! How cool would that have been?

So it started to make me wonder. What are the iconic movie moments for subsequent generations? Those scenes or images that sear themselves into an entire collective mindset?

What moments stick in your mind and are the source of discussion and wonderment for your generation as they are for mine with Star Wars and my parents for Psycho. What are those movies? Is it to be found in the Harry Potter franchise? Was Die Hard a film that sticks out? Did the prequels have as big an impact on a new generation as the original Star Wars trilogy did on mine?

I’d love to know…